We now have hard data about this incredible feeling we call “love”. Research that explains how it really works, with the people that mean the most to you. And for those struggling in challenging relationships, we have research that shows us how to change those relationships.
Because you’re human, you NEED love.
You’re hardwired for this connection. Being loved gives you a feeling like you belong, that someone’s got your back. And if you feel like you’re being denied love, you probably protest (get angry, sad, critical) or minimize this need (“whatever, I’ll just ignore him/her/this”). But this need to be loved is built in at birth; there’s no getting around it. And the quality of your love relationships affect EVERY aspect of your life, including your physical well being, your ability to succeed, your self confidence and even how you view the world.
But so many of us get stuck in those fights, the ones that just reinforce our deepest fears. You know, those fights that never get resolved, the ones that just leave you feeling so empty and alone… It’s often those fights, those predictable fights in our most important relationships, that create our greatest pain.
The good news is that there is a solution.
Relationships can absolutely get close again. I’ve seen it, again and again. Using this research of love, I’ve seen couples fall back in love again, creating an even stronger bond than in the beginning of their relationship. Families can be transformed by this, too. They can learn to respond to each other in different ways— ways that work. Love really can be the answer, when you’ve got the tools to help it flourish.
Here’s a link to one of my favorite researchers on love: Dr. Sue Johnson.