We love our kids, and want better for them than we had. Right?! But sometimes we’re scared they’ll make the same mistakes we did, or worse.
Sometimes, the best place to start when we’re frustrated with our kids is with ourselves. When they’re behaving badly, do we have the courage to ask: “Did I show them how to behave that way?” Or “Is my behavior helping or making this situation worse?” I know I’ve certainly answered these questions “yes” before! What WE DO has so much more impact, than what we tell them to do. And if we’re not asking ourselves the hard questions, we might be teaching them what we most want them NOT to learn. Or we might be escalating the situation by our own behavior. I know I’ve made that mistake before. And with knowledge, we can begin to do better.
And if you do begin to ask yourself these questions, know that its a process, not a fix. It’s not reasonable to expect ourselves to always behave perfectly as a parent. We’re human after all. Striving to be the good enough parent can help to allow room for errors, while striving to improve. So when we know better, we can begin to do better… The more we ask ourselves these questions, the more we’re able to change our own behavior. And then we really do become a better parent, we become a good enough parent.